I’ve not written about my bowels for ages, months in fact. There was a time when almost every post I wrote had some reference to having the shits or being rendered housebound by flatulence or a combination of both. I even wrote about my ineptness at aiming straight over a squat toilet. Remember the story about my doing a poo and then discovering that I’d misfired by about 12 inches?
Two years down the line and I’m now a real pro when it comes to Indonesian toilets. I still draw the line at using my hand to wipe my arse, but I have mastered the high-pressure hose attachment to such a degree and with such dexterity that I’m seriously considering buying one and having it plumbed into my new bathroom in Spain. To think I could have been so rude about them when I first came here; now I don’t think I could live without one.
My most exciting discovery though (and it would be really mean not to share this), was when I discovered the Orgasmo-lav*. These very special toilets can be found in the Ladies lavatories of upmarket shopping malls and some restaurants. On the side of the toilet is a handle which when turned sends a super-strength jet of water up and out from the back of the toilet and by wiggling your bottom you can direct the jet anywhere you want it. Not only do they make feel you clean and refreshed, but they also make going to the toilet at Plaza Indonesia a REAL pleasure.
But I digress. The point of this post is about my bathroom tiles. The reason that I bought up the bowel, fart, orgasmo-lav stuff was because I realised that my bathroom tiles post needed an introduction. After all, if I hadn’t spent so much time on the toilet here in Dengue Villas, then I might never have noticed the marvellous Plato’s Cave images that greet me every time I’m sat there.
I’m sure that many of you will be familiar with Plato’s The Allegory Of The Cave but in case you are not I’m including a very short animated film that I found on You Tube. It’s full of swearing so if you don’t like rude words then it’s not for you but it does quite a good job in explaining Plato’s take on reality.
I sometimes think that two years of living in Jakarta has made me a little mad, but surely I can’t be the only person who finds pictures and images on floor and walls? Who can’t see the smiling Chinese man, the horse, the sleeping woman and the little dog in the tall hat here?